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Excerpt from CHAPTER ONE

“Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, 1959

The bold-print newspaper announcement of a Ghanaian art exhibit at the nearby Philadelphia Museum of Art caught Tori Pendola’s eye. Anything related to art always caught her eye. Art had a unique way of soothing the deep-seated feelings of rejection that had haunted her life ever since, as a twelve-year-old child, she’d overheard her father complain to his best friend that she had been an accident.

An accident?

The word had thrown her heart into a tailspin. The angry tone of voice with which Pop had spoken it still blared in her ears, like the scraping of fingernails across a chalkboard. He might as well have said unwanted. It would have been more truthful.

She stifled the searing memory and, as always in times of emotional pain, she turned to art. It was her solace. Her refuge. An escape from suffering. Immersing herself in art helped her forget the dull ache that constantly gnawed at her heart. The dread-
filled feeling that no one would ever want her. That rejection and loneliness would be her lot in life.

How she longed—needed—to know she was worth something to someone! That she was accepted despite her flaws and loved without condition.

She picked up the newspaper from the coffee table and turned toward her younger sister. “Anna, look at this! We have to go!”

Anna raised her eyes from her copy of Cry the Beloved Country, the novel that was still shaking the post-World War II world eleven years after its publication. “Go where?”

Newspaper in hand, Tori approached her sister and pointed to the advertisement. “It’s an exhibit of Ghanaian art, right here in Philadelphia at the Museum of Art.”

Anna scanned the newspaper. “Looks interesting.”

“Only ‘interesting’? It’s fascinating!”

Anna chuckled. “Well, of course it’s fascinating to you. You’re the artist. But, to me? Well, let’s just say I have other things that interest me more.”

Tori gave Anna a charming smile. “Am I one of them?”
Anna laughed. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, will you go with me to the exhibit?”

Anna put her book down on the sofa. “Yes, dear sister. I will go with you.” She smiled. “If I decide to pay attention instead of dozing off, I might even learn something.”

Tori bent over and gave Anna a kiss on the head. "You’re such a lovely little sister.”

“Yes.” Anna sighed. “I always let you have your own way.”

Tori slapped her playfully on the arm.

Anna picked up her book. “So, when is this exhibit?”

“Actually, it launches tomorrow evening in celebration of Veterans Day with a lecture by a famous expert on Ghanaian art. My professor mentioned it in class yesterday and suggested we attend.”

“Oh, so I’ve signed up for a lecture as well?”

Tori sat down next to Anna. “Only if you want to, of course.”

Anna leveled her eyes with Tori’s. “Tori, you have always been the persuasive older sister. But, I must confess, going along with your crazy ideas has always improved my life in some way in the long run.”

“Why is this a crazy idea?”

“Because Ghanaian art is probably the most random thing you could have asked me about.” She laughed before sobering. “In any case, it’s ‘crazy’ because it has nothing to do with my more immediate concerns—like helping Pop. Mom suggested I help relieve him of some of the pressures of running the business. I’d been thinking of getting some extra work done tomorrow evening, but I think it can wait for another day.”

Tori pondered Anna’s words. Their father was getting up in years. He would be approaching his sixty-eighth birthday in a few short months, having fathered both of them late in life. He would have retired long ago but for the recession that had struck the American economy in the mid-fifties. Now that things were looking up economically in the country, he might reconsider retiring if he had someone to take over the family business.

Anna seemed to be that someone. At twenty-two, she had an acute business sense, was highly organized, and competent beyond her years. She’d taken after their father and was perfectly suited to run the business.

Tori, on the other hand, was allergic to what she considered the boring life of the business world. To working in an office and doing the same thing day in and day out. She wanted adventure. Excitement.
True love.

A love that was not conditional. A love that accepted her for who she was, flaws and all. A love that didn’t require her to perform in order to be worthy of it.

Not Pop’s kind of love.

She sighed. Would she ever be good enough for him? Would she ever measure up to his standards of excellence? Would he ever love her just because she was his daughter?

Tori’s gaze fell on her sister. Anna was the favored one. Their father had wanted Anna. Not that Tori was jealous of her sister. No, Tori was only sad Pop didn’t love her in the same unconditional way he loved Anna.

To Pop, Anna could do no wrong. Anna was the compliant one, never opposing him. Always agreeing with him. No wonder Anna had a better relationship with their father than Tori had.

“Anna interrupted Tori’s thoughts. “So, tell me more about this exhibit.”

“Well, I don’t know much more than you, except that African art is increasing in popularity.”

“Why?”

“It has something to do with the growing realization that the art of non-Western cultures should not be judged by the values of Western art.”

Anna yawned. “Well, I’ll leave the philosophizing to you, my dear sister. It’s time for me to fix dinner. Mom will be home soon from her ladies’ club meeting and asked me to have the meal ready by the time she gets here.”

While Tori deeply loved her sister, Anna was the pragmatist of the two of them, and Tori was ever the idealist. This difference in personality had made for some sharp arguments between them over the years, but it was also the glue that cemented their relationship. In the long run, opposites did attract. Tori and Anna were proof of that.

While Anna prepared dinner, Tori headed to her desk to get in a few more minutes of study for her midterm exams. The end of the semester was fast approaching, and she had to do well if she wanted to graduate with the rest of her class and please Pop at the same time.

He continually reminded her he’d paid a pretty penny to send her to an Ivy League school, so she’d better produce a good return on his investment. After all, it wasn’t every daughter of a small businessman who got to go to Penn. Talk about pressure!

She was competing with students from all over the world. Penn’s Master of Arts program in Art History was considered one of the finest anywhere, and she was privileged to be a part of it. Yet, the stress of it all sometimes overwhelmed her. If only her father weren’t hovering over her, measuring her success. If only she could rest in the knowledge that she didn’t have to earn his approval by getting good grades.

If only Pop loved her unconditionally.

Tori sat down in the straight-backed chair at her bedroom desk and gazed out the window. Large drops of rain splattered against the pane, while dark-gray clouds melted into night. Here and there, house lights in her Italian neighborhood turned on as families prepared for another cold, rainy November evening.

She sighed. The demands of her studies were getting to her. She needed the break that tomorrow would bring.
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Excerpt from In Black and White by MaryAnn Diorio
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